Praise and glory to Me!

December 22, 2008

Yes, citizens, it’s that time of year. The time of year when, if you’re a good citizen or just a citizen who values her life, you have sent a special gift to your Dictator in thanks and praise of the glorious event of Her Birth. Perhaps you even participated in one of the many Hail Josibear events taking place around the republic tonight, celebrations of Her Life and Her Mighty Omnipotence. Your Praiseworthy Wonder does appreciate a tasty birthday cake and odd technological gizmo (She especially enjoys handheld weaponry, but as a faithful peasant, you already knew that, didn’t you?), but as She peruses her mountain of presents from the citizens of the IRJ and leaders of so many countries around the world, She can’t help but notice that the mountain is a little shorter than it should be. So before the secret police show up at your door, perhaps you should ask yourself: Have I properly praised and gifted Her Gracious Almightiness this birthday season? Might She not need a gift from me, no matter how insignificant I personally may be in Her All-Seeing Eyes? The answer, peon, is yes. Yes, you should have sent a gift. And yes, you will be regretting your choice not to as your head rolls across the floor away from your twitching body.

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2 Responses to “Praise and glory to Me!”

  1. トッド Says:

    Dictator,

    I praise thee

    peon

    トッド

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