Neediness

April 21, 2009

Peons, I know you need me. I know you are meowing outside my office door, begging for my attention, but you have to realize that your Powerful Point of Awesomeness has more important matters to attend to than your tiny insignificant needs. Cry out if you must, but My ears are attuned to more important issues. An important world leader like Myself does not have time for your petty desire for attention.

Regardless of whether you have four legs or a pathetic two legs, your Smoking Hotness cannot be there to stroke you every time you are feeling insecure. Citizen, you must learn to stand on your own plurality of feet. The feathered toys I have to offer you are no substitute for a real life filled with meaningful contact with your fellow citizens in the fields where you toil to pull the food you need from the earth. Your Righteous Action cannot be there to hold your hand every second you are awake. Purr and rub against My legs if you must, but My quest for world domination will always come first.

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