Did You Miss Me?

June 2, 2009

Oh precious minions, were you pining away for Me? Did you wonder if I had locked you in that closet and left you for good?

Sweet citizens, you know I would never abandon you. I am too involved in making sure your every move is controlled by Me. Without My citizens to dictate, what kind of dictator would I be? And without Me to watch over you, what kind of citizens would you be? Sad and driftless, without doubt. So I must reassure you once again, citizens. I will never leave you. Not even the threat of a crimes against humanity charge can wrench Me from your side, dear peons.

Unless the Republic must move house again. I know, I know, we all thought that after the trauma of the last move, we would not have to endure the separation again, that the enforced cohabitation with government ministers would never recur. But sadly, complications do occur, my dear peasants, and your country’s removal was riddled with them. There was the temporary stay in the shelter of another world leader, who while generous with his accomodation, was less than generous with his other resources, resulting in the resentment that has led to the current hostitlities. Yes, as you may already be aware, the IRJ is at war with a new country. Word of advice: Never house your government in the house of an ally. It will always end in hostilities.

But now, sweet, patient peons, the IRJ is safely home. Once again, we have our own spacious lands with room for all of our precious citizens. Room to farm for our livings, room for My secret police. Rooms with bright red walls and orange tiles.

Oh, citizens, it is a glorious time in the Republic! A time of renewal, a time of fresh starts! Let’s move forward into this bright future together, renew our mutual bond. You need me to tell you what to do and I need you to–well, actually, citizens, I don’t need you. Your poverty ands desperation brings you to Me and I relish the flavour of angst and despair. Welcome to the Republic!

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