Stop the Rain

June 13, 2009

Oh citizens, your Beloved Overloader has been taking a moment for Her Glorious Self. But don’t worry, the beatings will continue on schedule. Among the many talents of your Ruthless Delight is the ability to delegate work effectively. So those new faces you have been seeing will be the ones keeping you in line for the next week or so as I luxuriate in all the delights the east coast of Canada has to offer.

But sadly, dearest peons, the delights are few. With many conferences to attend and arms deals to make, your Dictator’s free time is limited and so the entertainments of this tiny coastal village would, on paper, appear to be sufficient. However, reality is always more vicious than on paper (on paper, dear peasants, you are joyous participants in a fully democratic republic) and this village leaves a bad taste in the mouth of your One and Only. If important deals were not being concluded here, I would give in to my temptation to remove all traces of this place and leave only dust.

Except! The only thing that has brought a grin to My Solemn Countenance is the many lobsters being boiled alive. You know, sweet peons, how I love to watch the suffering of others.

But the rain, the misty air that threatens rain, this must stop. I will boil six thousand lobsters if I must, but the moistness causing an un-totalitarian-like halo of frizzy hair on your Sweet Here and Now must stop.


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