Hard at Work

July 31, 2009

I know you don’t think your Beloved Marvel is slacking because thinking like that is an invitation to my heroic secret police. But peons, I will confess, time has run away from Me. Although you are always close to me as I consider your fate and the trials that My many wars cause you to endure, my life of carefree delights lets the days slip away from me. Maybe all the champagne I am drinking is going to My head. Who can say, dear citizens?

Well, of course, I can. Peons, you know that your Great Wonder is omnipotent, omniscient and a god in this world. It is not all the champagne that has kept me from keeping you ill-informed. Rather, it is the many new  ventures your Fearless Leader has pushed Her way into. Leading My own country is satisifying, but as time goes on, I find Myself looking for new and challenging means of expression. Crushing revolutions only goes so far. And as thrilling as smuggling arms can be, with time, all pleasures become mere routine. So your Final Fantasy is always pushing boundaries, reaching outward and looking for new ways to entertain Herself while still oppressing Her masses.

Don’t lose hope, citizens. I do still delight in oppressing you. But it’s been many years since I first started cutting your freedom short and I can’t deny that the old thrills have long since been exhausted. I want to continue moving forward with you, dear peasants, because I have grown to tolerate you and your cyclic, predictable uprisings. It is comforting to know that I can have a few of you beheaded when I am in a bad mood. You know that always lifts My spirits.

I just need to stretch My wings and see where My authoritarian streak takes Me. That may mean dominating the global publishing industry or forcing the cats in the neighbourhood to perform numbers from West Side Story; at this point, anything is possible. The key, citizens, is that your Fantastic Rumbler will always be here for you, considering your impoverished future.

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