Choosing a Nation: Money

March 29, 2010

A question your Ultimate Answer often fields from aspiring autocrats is: how to get started on the path to successful overlord? To be sure, citizens, it is a rocky road, fraught with peril, decent falafel too rarely encountered. But in My infinite wisdom, I have observed some key factors that may prove useful to you in your mad quest for power. However, this information is obviously forbidden to citizens of the Independent Republic of Josi, so upon pain of death, I insist that you peons turn your gaze from this series of dictatorial tips. Any bid for control you make in this Republic is doomed to failure. My people are everywhere.

(Your sister has been working for Me since she was five. I won your cousin over when he was still in the womb. Do not trifle with Me, peasant. Click on to some other Dictator-sanctioned website: either the weather or the fuzzy cat sweater site.)

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Broken!

March 6, 2010

Loyal peons, you may have already heard the distressing news. The Canadians are trying to assassinate your Heart’s Desire. Yes, the Canadians. It is true that they play the innocent ingenue card well, but beneath their polite apologies and gentle doughnut-eating ways is a ferocious lust for power. They will stop at nothing to annex the Independent Republic of Josi and add yet another province to their ever-growing list of territories.

Being of quick mind and supple intelligence, I have long suspected that something evil lay beneath the soft veneer of kindness that the Canadians show the world at large and have thus always insisted on an entourage larger than My usual group of Doom Force soldiers whenever I have visited that dishonourable nation. However, even this protective human shield was not enough to block the nefarious Canadians.

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